A Rugby Players Guide to Keeping Coaches in Line

A Rugby Players Guide to Keeping Coaches in Line
(adapted for rugby) 

The basic training of every player should, of course, include all types of skills and practices in all facets of the game.  One important area which is often neglected is the art of one-upmanship. The following guidelines are intended to develop habits which will promote the proper type of relationship between player and coach.

1. Never be satisfied with the start time. Show up at practice earlier than required and push for an earlier time change and when this happens start showing up at some random later time.

2. Just before a big game suggest you want to change positions or you might quit.  Let the coach know you're there as a personal favour.

3.  Engage with a newer player while the coach is explaining something and interrupt the drill to have the coach explain its purpose again.

4. Insist the coach give three reasons for each drill and ask if the national team uses this particular drill and how often.

5. During full team practices suggest a play that you saw in an international game between New Zealand and Australia recently.  If the coach looks at the game and says he could not find it, look puzzled and state that it might have been New Zealand and South Africa or two other teams and might have been in the last couple of years.

6. Find an excuse to leave practice about 15 minutes early but do not actually leave the clubhouse so that others will become restless and want to finish.

7. After a Thursday practice, especially when plays have been developed with  you in an important position, remind the coach that you told him several months ago you could not play this Saturday.

8. Make loud coaching suggestions to other players in other positions especially if they are slightly different from what the coach suggests.

9. When the coach suggests a play, point out that you did it slightly different in high school and get the team to work on your play.  At the end suggest that it did not actually work in high school.

10. If the coach does not have "touch rugby" at the start, complain that is a good way to warm up and teaches certain skills.  If there is touch rugby, point our there are better ways for teams to warm up and it actually results in bad habits.

Remember it is your responsibility to take the attention away from the coaches and put it on you, where it belongs.
K.B.O

Dachshunds with Erections Can't Climb Stairs.

Dachshunds with Erections Can't Climb Stairs.

 by Les Barker

Each night she's on the balcony, he loves her from afar
His soft, sad eyes are hypnotized, she shines down like a star.
His heart will break forever,his kind can't have affairs
For Dachshunds with erections... can't climb stairs.

His home's a humble bungalow, and her's a penthouse flat
He cannot go where she can go and that, they say. is that.
He never can be near her, although she knows he cares
For Dachshunds with erections...can't climb stairs.

You want to win a woman? Just be cool... be aloof
The dog who doesn't hit the stairs, can make it to the roof.
The dog who doesn't care will be the dog who wins the day
You'll never get to heaven... with your chopper in the way.

The spirit soars, the body falls and heavy lies the heart
That cries out with the pain of love. be still my broken part.
How painful is the passion and painful the repairs 

For Dachshunds with erections ... can't climb stairs.

New Year's 2013

This year's New Year's Touch Rugby Game and Chili Contest took place on January 1 (again), only this year with lots of snow and a temperature of -4.  I thought there were 19 players but there are only 18 in the picture so one might be buried.  A classic game with lots of skill by the wily old veterans and lots of energy from the younger players (the age range was 14 to 55). The best New Years game ever ended in a 8 to 7 win for the good guys.    We had another player in the clubhouse but he couldn't take the brightness.

a little action

perhaps a little to much action and way to bright

an oldie against a youngie

After about an hour and a bit the players came in for some warm chili.  We had five chilies in the contest this year and our three expert panel (who were not bribed in any way -although they expected to be). The winning chili was one with a wonderful blend of ingredients  and an exceptional chiliness. This was made by one of our newest members (and youngest) - Nick Lord.

Nick is holding the Bob Mavro "Indian Princess of Chili Award (Hot Princess)" along with the four second place finishers from left Mille, Vic, Brendan and to Nick's right Webs.  The award suddenly appeared to Bob at 3 in the morning in a pizza joint in downtown Buffalo several years ago and he graciously presented it to the club.

Most of the exercise done by the players that day, however, was pushing cars out of the parking lot as it had not been plowed.

This blog was started 4 years ago and 11 137 page views have taken place.  This is 5013 more than last year at this time (so we almost doubled our total hits in one year).  The largest hit has been Wilmot away in September of 2010 with 327.  Our largest hit in the past  year was the report of the New Years 2012 game with 63 hits. Most of the hits are from Canada with U.S following then the United Kingdom.  But there are 287 from Russia, 112 from Serbia and 63 from Israel.  Most are probably by accident but for those hard core followers we wish you all a happy and prosperous 2013 with lots of good rugby.  

K.B.O.

Club Dinner 2012

Trouble: with a capital  T that rhymes with P and that stands for Pool 

We had difficulty this year in finding a suitable venue for the annual Christmas/Awards dinner this year as places in Grimsby where we have been in the past have either gone out of business, are no longer suitable or in the case of the room for the last three years  finally decided they do not want us back.  Anyway, three years was a good run for us.  Jeremy thought that there was a room in the basement of the local pool hall which was a former Baptist Church that had converted into something useful (no offence).  Just in case they had heard of us, we booked the room under the name of the Grimsby Gentlemen Men's Precision Skating Club and spoke of spirals and spins, Lutz and Salchow jumps and what colour of sequins should be on our next outfits. We rented the place, they arranged the caterers and so with trepidation on Dec 8th we showed up at Different Strokes for 7:00 with dinner at 8:00.

We had 28 present with 20 of our 23 players this year attending (one was working. We had a table of old boys including two life members Bill Stabler (2005) and Paul Rohner (2007) along with Wayne Scobie and Brad Toth who are familiar with the formation of the club in 1977.  We were also graced with our only paid up social member in Elizabeth Blaney.  The rest were designated drivers.

Our awards went well with Nick Lord (a high school student) getting Junior Player of the Year for playing prop almost every game against men in the Niagara League.

Nick Lord - Junior Player of the Year

Most improved player went to Dirk Reichow, who just started the game a year ago.

Dirk Reichow - Most Improved Player

Rookie of the Year went to Pat Brown who really picked up the game at fullback.

Pat Brown - Rookie of the Year

This year the Player of the Year award went to Derrick Weber who also took the honour in 2010 and it was presented by Club Manager Kyle Wilson.

That's Derrick  on the right, Kyle in the middle and somehow Bob got in the picture. 

Clubman of the Year is our highest honour and is given to someone who gives a little extra to make the club better.  This year James Vinneau took on a section of the flag program (u 14s) and worked with them to make them into one of the better teams in the league.  James is also working on setting up an u 12 contact program for the club next year and has taken on the position of junior co-ordinator.

James - Clubman of the Year

We also gave out the Deer's Rear Award to a player who does something outrageous on the field.  This year Nick Lemieux while playing #9 against Hamilton, threw a pass to the #10 Martin Colyn which ended up a little behind Martin.  The ball was knocked backwards and Martin turned to pick it up.  Nick ran over and decided to kick the ball off the ground and it ended up driving it into Martin`s face who dropped to the ground like he was shot.  Big oohs from the Hamilton spectators.  Sometimes picking these things is just so easy We have the whole episode on video and if I can ever figure out how to get it on here I will.  .

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Nick with Deer's Rear Award (the thing around his neck)

This year we have the award with no name or actual award but was essentially given for some outrageous action off the field but with the rugby group.  Up for this award this year were the two plumber brothers who could not find Stratford (even though thousands of people do every summer) even with GPS and phoned instructions.  Or Brendan who falls asleep in a pub and gets the whole group kicked out.  But the best goes to Derrick Weber who in trying to table surf last year broke the table, slapped the bartender with a handful of vaseline and almost killed himself (we have it on a camera phone but don't know how to download it).
Someday it will appear here - wait for it.

Bob and Kyle presenting their own awards - but they can write their own blog

The rest of the evening went well (namely I don't have a letter to write this year to anyone), Bob and Kyle presented their kooky awards, . Vic got undressed and tried on his new underwear as usual. 

To add some culture I read a poem by Les Barker "Dachshunds with Erections Can't Climb Stairs" and a "Rugby Players Guide to Keeping Coaches in Line"

Alex wrote on my card and made me read (he is after all a cop - whom I always obey)  

"Everybody laughed at Grandpa that morning he got up at 6 am to go fishing; however nobody laughed that evening he returned home with the town whore."  

Lauri wrote:  "May God grant you  many years to live for sure he must be knowing, the earth has angels all too few, and heaven is overflowing."  She thinks I'm old and going to die especially when we dance and I have to feint a heart attack to stop. 

By the way Alex and Lauri, our poetry couple, are getting married real soon, like by the time you read this and are on a cruise for their honeymoon.  Everyone at the club wishes them a long and happy life together.

Kids - those are not real cigarettes 

Afterward the younger members went home and probably straight to bed, while many of the others made the traditional trek to the Legion, some to spread Christmas joy amongst the Legionaries and others check out the cougars.  There was an altercation with one of the bouncers but surprisingly none of the rugby club were involved.  A few stayed at the hall and played darts with the bar keep until 3:00 when she finally kicked them out. The Grimsby Men's Precision Skating Club will probably have their 2013 dinner at the same place.  Please attend.

Thanks for the card and the gift.